[0:07] Do you ever find yourself not doing something that you know is important and will help you be more successful?

[0:15] I'm Rusty Gaillard. This is Do Something Different, a podcast for smart, high-achieving, successful people. And if you're like that, like me, you probably chalk up that lack of execution to a lack of discipline. Because it takes discipline to get where you are. You've been disciplined in your studies, in your work, in being diligent about getting things done. That is discipline. And so when you're not doing something that you know is important, it's easy to say it's a discipline issue. I was in a conversation with a client just earlier today. We'll call her Debbie. And Debbie has a goal in 2025 of being more active physically. She says, look, my work life is going really well. My family life is going really well. but it's coming at the cost of me personally. I'm not investing in myself the way I would like to. So her goal is simple, to go out several times a week and go for a walk. I said, well, what's getting in your way of doing that? Because you have this goal, you're not doing it, so something's in the way. What is that? She thought for a moment and she said, well, nothing. There's really nothing in the way. And that is such a telltale response because what it says is it's a recognition that in reality, there is nothing blocking you from doing the things that you know are important. But in practice, you're not doing them. So in practice, there is something that's in the way.

[1:41] Theoretically, conceptually, it's not true. But in reality, in the way you navigate your life, in the way you make decisions moment to moment to moment, there's something in the way. It is the habits, it's the patterns, it's the biases, it's your way of operating day-to-day, of making decisions in the moment, that is stopping you from doing those things that you know are important, that are aligned with your values, and will help you be more successful in your job and in your career.

[2:07] Let's talk about a few examples of what those things might be. In Debbie's case, this was a personal thing. It's getting out and doing some exercise and walking. In the professional context, there are so many things that you could do that could make you more effective. Are you taking time throughout the day or throughout the week to plan, to think about where are you in the week? Where are you? What meetings are coming up? What projects do you have on your plate? Are you considering those things and planning for your time and your energy?

[2:38] When you have an important meeting, are you preparing for it? Of course, you're building the deck and so on so that you're ready to present it. But are you rehearsing the deck? Are you thinking about who's in your audience and what bias they have and what information they have so you can tailor your interaction to the specific audience that you have? Are you thinking about the projects that you have going on? Who are the key stakeholders? Are they involved sufficiently? Are you holding people accountable? Are you thinking about your team and planning for your team and your team's development? Are you thinking about your own development and your career? Feedback you've gotten, things that you want to be working on that are going to help you grow as a leader and be more effective.

[3:19] It's pretty clear, I think, if you're a high-achieving, smart person, that your success is going to be way more driven based on what you can learn and how you can grow rather than your innate skills and ability that you have in this moment today. It's that fundamentally is the concept behind the book Mindset by Carol Dweck, which is one of these foundational books that talks about growth mindset and fixed mindset. Fixed mindset is you are as smart as you're ever going to be, and you just try to maximize and optimize that.

[3:52] Growth mindset is the idea that your value comes in learning, and you continue to learn and grow, and that is what you lean into, because that's where the value comes. So how are you thinking about yourself? You should be thinking about yourself as someone who can learn and grow and develop, because that is what positions you for continued success in your career. But are you spending time doing those things?

[4:21] Are you spending time preparing for meetings, focusing on the kind of work that's going to really make an impact, thinking about your own development, thinking about your team developments? These are, in some ways, the bread and butter of leadership. And they're actually not that complicated to do. They're actually quite simple. But a lot of people don't do them. Why? Because you get caught up in the day-to-day work. And why does that happen?

[4:47] Because it's a habit. It's a pattern. It's the way that you have operated in your work so far. So if you want to achieve a new level of success, you've got to do something different. But that means breaking a habit. You've got to step out of the patterns that have served you well so far and do something new. Let's talk for a moment about another client of mine. We'll refer to him as Scott, who was managing a client relationship. He was in a client service kind of role, and he was managing a client relationship. And the client relationship he was managing was not performing well. It was challenging. The client never did what Scott and his company recommended. Because Scott, you know, these guys are experts in their industry. They have a lot of experience. They have a lot of expertise. They know a lot of people. They've seen a lot of different situations.

[5:36] But they were bringing those suggestions and recommendations to this client, and the client routinely did not do them and did something else which created problems. And this was an endless source of frustration for Scott and for his team. This was going on for months. And what was Scott doing? He was continuing to go back to this client and say, this is what I suggest you do. This is why I suggest you do it. He was having the same conversation over and over and over again with the client. But he wasn't getting anywhere. And this is such a classic example because obviously what he was doing wasn't working. He'd been in this situation for months, but he kept doing the same thing. Think about where that might apply for you.

[6:22] I just gave you a couple of examples on this podcast so far. One, Debbie, who had the desire to walk but wasn't implementing it. Chalked it up as a lack of discipline, but it was really about never being done enough with the work that was on our plate to move forward.

[6:40] Have you ever found yourself in that position where you don't feel like you're done? You don't feel like you're caught up and you say, I'll go do this other thing that's important to me personally once I'm caught up. But your habit or your pattern is to put your personal needs behind your professional deliverables and requirements. And if you never feel like you're caught up on the professional side, you never get to the personal side. That is a habit. That is a pattern, a way of thinking that you can address. So think about that and say, where have I done something like this? Whether it's this drive for perfection or completion that is driving you in a habit that is getting in your way of doing something different. Whether it is a pattern around, I've always been effective influencing other people, but it's not working in this case, kind of like Scott's example, but he keeps trying the same thing over and over again. So look for a moment, just be reflective of your own life and say, where am I in my work environment? Where am I repeating the same kind of behaviors? And oftentimes it's around being busy. So many of the executives that I work with are very busy. They're going from meeting to meeting. They always feel behind. They're never caught up. They're working on messaging. They're trying to get their work done. They're empowering their team. They're trying to manage their team, but they never catch up.

[8:00] At some point, you have to recognize this as a pattern and say, you are the common denominator in this pattern. You have a role in this. And what can you do differently?

[8:11] These are some of the examples of ways in which your traditional way of thinking, your pattern that has worked so well for you up to date, is not working for you in this moment because you're no longer doing the things that are important, that are going to drive of success for your role, for your team, for your career that are going to set you apart in your career journey. And by the way, give you the time and space to do things like get up and go for a walk in the middle of the day. So what do you do with this?

[8:42] Obviously, there's going to be some element of this, which is thinking differently.

[8:46] But there's a step before that. The step before that is what I call WIN. W-I-N, what's important now? You've got to start with that question. When I worked at Apple, we did performance reviews every year. And a lot of people never really checked in on those performance reviews throughout the year. It was waiting until the next annual cycle that they actually sat down and had a conversation. But as someone who is both the recipient of business goals in my performance review and also who set business goals for my team in performance reviews, I can tell you those business goals quickly become outdated because the business moves quickly and it moves faster and faster these days. So if you are not asking yourself this question, what's important now on a regular basis, your goals will become outdated. There are two ways to think about what's important now.

[9:41] Very simply, it's what do you want and what do you not want? What do you want? That's the example like Debbie. She wants a little bit more personal time to get out and go for a walk every day, even if it's only 15 minutes. What do you not want? That's the example like Scott. He does not want to be in this dynamic where his client continues to reject his advice and continues to cause problems over and over and over again. He no longer wants to be in that pattern.

[10:11] So when you're thinking about what's important now for you in your work, what do you want and what do you not want? Once again, the want can be personal, but it can also be career. I want to position myself to stand out so that I'm ready for the next level of responsibility. I want to make a real impact on the company, on the industry, on my team. I want to build a clear succession plan. I want to delegate more effectively so that I'm fully leveraging my team and not so much lands on my plate.

[10:43] What do I not want? I don't want to be in this dynamic where I'm trying to manage a difficult situation and not making any progress. I do not want to be working every night after the kids go to sleep because I'm always behind. I do not want to be running from meeting to meeting, feeling like I'm unprepared, showing up and barely able to get work done. I'm always in reactive mode. I don't want to be in reactive mode. I just gave you some examples to prime your thinking about what do you want and what do you not want? And the core of that is what's important now. So tune in to what's important now. And once you've got that, the next step is very simply to plan, but not to plan to do more of the same, not to plan to say, I need more time to be more effective to, or to be more disciplined, but not to take that same approach over and over and over again. It was like the conversation I had with Debbie when I said, well, what's in the way of taking a walk? And she says, well, it's discipline, but that's not helpful. That's not a helpful response because the truth is you're all, you are a disciplined person and Debbie is a disciplined person. And so chogging it up to discipline doesn't really help her to become more effective. So don't, when you're planning, don't go back to, I need to just do more of the same that I've always done, but do more of it and do better or be more disciplined or stronger.

[12:09] That's not the point. The point is to look a little bit more creatively at what is actually in your way.

[12:16] And as I had this conversation with Debbie, the answer of what was in her way was, in a word, perfectionism. I am never quite sure when it's good enough. And because I'm never quite sure when it's good enough, I spend more time and more time and I lean into it. And what happens is I fill up all of the available time until I reach a deadline. And that deadline is either another work commitment or a family commitment. Because in Debbie's case, those two things were equally and very important. But a personal commitment to go out and take a walk, that's something that would easily get set aside and she would take over that time and continue to work because it was never quite good enough. She wasn't sure what good enough looked like. And so it was this endless cycle and the work expands to fill up the time that's available.

[13:05] I feel like it's relevant to pause for a moment and point out, excuse me, it's relevant to pause for a moment and point out that, Everything I'm talking about is very simple. None of this is complicated. And this is the killer for really smart, ambitious people, because I'm going to say all these things and you're going to say, well, yeah, of course. They're simple, but they're not easy. The not easy is the implementation. And it's useful to when you're planning to look at what's actually preventing you from doing this thing that you know is important.

[13:42] What's important now? You've answered that question. You know, it's important. So what's truly in your way of doing it? Maybe it's a lack of an idea. In Scott's case, he was repeating this same dynamic over and over again with the client, trying to get this client to fall in line and failing. And he repeated this over and over and over again. So at some point, what's in the way for Scott? Well, it might be a change in perspective or it might be a different approach that he needs to take. What was in the way for Debbie about going for a walk? It was not discipline. it's really more this question of perfectionism and what is good enough and how can you tolerate doing something that is good enough even knowing that you could make it better if you spent more time but can you get to the point where you say good enough really is good enough and i'm going to move on those were the things that were standing in the way in these particular examples so ask yourself as you're planning what is in your way what are the things that are blocking you from moving forward and delivering on the things that you know are important now change your perspective oftentimes it's useful to zoom out and say okay whatever i've been doing isn't working and just almost imagine like you're talking to a friend and imagine giving yourself advice as if you were giving a friend advice.

[15:05] Some of the psychological studies actually show that if you talk to yourself in third person, that can be really more effective. So rather than say, what can I do differently? I say, Rusty, you seem to be repeating the same pattern over and over again. Is there something about this pattern, Rusty, that you might see and think about a little bit differently?

[15:24] Because you're repeating the same thing. And we all know that if you keep doing the same thing, you're going to get similar results. So what's uncomfortable about doing something different? Rusty, tell me about that.

[15:37] Notice I'm talking to myself as if I'm talking to someone else. I'm using my own name and referring to myself. Try that with yourself. I know it sounds corny. I know it sounds weird, but it changes the way you approach the problem. You don't own it in the same way. It's much, as we all know, it's way easier to give someone else advice and to see what someone else is doing wrong than it is to take your own advice and to see what you're doing wrong. So just use that little psychological mechanism that gives you some space from the problem by talking about it in third person to shift your perspective and come up with a plan on what you can do differently. So let me give you some specifics about what we did with both Debbie and Scott. With Debbie, who was wanting to take walks more often, what we did was to say, the thing that's getting in the way is knowing when you're actually done. When is good enough, good enough. So before you start thinking about a presentation or a conversation or whatever it is that you're preparing. Before you start working on it, before you dig in and prepare it, think about what is the outcome you need? What is the outcome? What is the result that you need? Spend a minute planning before you actually get into doing the work. Because that planning needs to answer two things. What is the outcome you need? What do you need to do? What is the pathway to get there? What do you need to deliver in order to get to that outcome? We got balloons coming up. And.

[16:59] What are the steps you need? What is the information you need to provide in order to get there? So what is the outcome? What is the pathway? And what are the steps? And when you start to think about it that way, that's going to give you a much better sense of what is enough. And so that's what Debbie took away to go work on. That combined with a willingness to lean a little bit more in the direction of stopping earlier rather than continuing to work. Because Debbie's bias, like many of us, was perfectionism. She wants to keep working on something until it gets to a certain level of perfection. So recognizing that in herself, can she take a step in the other direction? Can she just lean towards saying, I'm going to finish a little bit earlier? This planning process can help because it can help define what is the minimum that's required. If I know what the goal is for this meeting and I know what information and what steps need to be put out in order to achieve that goal, as I'm building the deck, as I'm laying out my script and planning what I'm going to say, I know when I've covered enough. And therefore, I can stop and complete that exercise and lean in this direction of saying, yes, of course, there's more I can do. I can polish it. I can hone it. I can refine it. I can make it smoother and better. But I've got enough to get there. I've got enough to get the result. And therefore, can I stop and move on?

[18:19] That was the change in perspective that I worked on with Debbie. Now, let's talk for a moment about Scott. because Scott was continuing to repeat the same thing over and over and over again with this client. At some point with the point with Scott was, okay, the client clearly is not changing and clearly does not want to change. And Scott had even had that explicit conversation with a client saying, it seems like we keep doing the same thing over and over again, and you don't want to change. What's going on with that? And the client basically said, I'm okay with the way I'm doing things. So Scott's not okay with the way things are going. His company is not okay with

[18:55] the way things are going, but the client has no motivation to change. So for Scott to keep going back and having that same conversation over and over again, it's not working. How can he do something different? How can he change his perspective? And the change in perspective there is to bump up a level. When I explain this situation to you, you as a listener are hearing this example about Scott. And I bet you have some ideas about things that Scott could do differently. Or if I asked you to brainstorm, look, Scott's bumping his head against the wall over and over and over again with this client. What can Scott do differently? So we start to think about different options. Well, Scott could go to the client and say, look, this client relationship doesn't make any sense. He could basically fire the client.

[19:38] I think all good professional services organizations need to know how to do that. Scott could fire the client. Scott could work on replacing the client, get someone else to work with in that role. Look, we're not making progress the way we need to be. Let's find someone else that I can work with to make sure we're getting the results that both of us agree are important for you and your company. He could find someone else to work with. Scott could replace himself. Maybe it's an issue with Scott. Maybe he needs to get a partner to go in and have this conversation. There are many different perspectives and you start to see more options if you're able to change your perspective.

[20:15] So how do you get to this point? Once again, you start with the question, what's important now? And that's either something you want or don't want. In Scott's case, he doesn't want to keep beating his head against the wall. Great. So now you start to build a plan and recognizing that there's a pattern, recognizing what's contributed to this pattern over time, which is, Scott, keep going. I'm going to be persistent. I'm going to be more disciplined. I'm going to work harder. I'm going to try harder. These things work for a lot of smart, successful people, but at some point they don't. So if you're not going to take that approach, what other approach can you take? Talk to yourself in third person, because that little perspective, getting some distance from the problem is going to help you. The last piece I want to share with you is actually quite simple,

[21:01] and it's just to put it into practice, to do it. And what doing it means is putting it on your schedule on a specific date and a specific time.

[21:12] When you put something on your calendar that's on a specific time, you're way more likely to actually follow through and do it. And this is true not just for something in the current day. It's also true in the current day. Think about Debbie's example. I want to go for a walk today well when am i going to go for a walk because once you sit down at your desk as we all know the flow of work becomes overwhelming and you're always wanting to get to this point and say well if i just get this next thing done and if i just catch up and i just finish getting through my slack messages and my emails and i just finished this presentation then i'll go take a walk but the work always expands to fill that time and you never get to taking a walk, Very different from putting a time on your calendar and saying at four o'clock, I'm going to stand up and I'm going to go for a 20 minute walk. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to walk around the block a couple of times. I'm going to get 20 minutes of exercise. And by the way, change my perspective, get a different viewpoint on things, get some distance from all the work that I'm doing. I'm going to get some new ideas while I'm out there walking.

[22:15] But putting it on the calendar for a very specific time makes all the difference. So in Scott's case, he needed to have a conversation with his client, which is different from any conversation he had before. When is that going to happen? Well, I've got a weekly meeting with the client every Wednesday at one o'clock. This Wednesday at one o'clock, I'm going to have that conversation. Do the same for yourself.

[22:39] Identify what's important now. Plan, but plan to do something different. Look at what your patterns are. Deliberately change them. identify an action that you can take, and then schedule it. Put it on your calendar for a specific date and a specific time. The whole point of this conversation is that as a smart, successful, ambitious person, there are always things that you know you want to be doing that are important to you personally, to your career, to your profession, to your impact at work that are going to make you more successful, but they're not getting done because you don't have time. The reality is you have enough time for everything that's important. You make time for the things that are important. So if you're not doing this, it's not a question of time. It's not a question of discipline. And if it's not either of those two things, what then is truly standing in your way?

[23:36] Get thoughtful about how to think about that. If it would be helpful to have a conversation about that, reach out to me because this is what I love doing. it. I love helping people see what is it that's standing in my way? Because oftentimes the answer is not to jam harder on the gas when you're not going as fast as you want, but it's to take your foot off the brake.

[23:56] Find the things that are in your way that are slowing you down. Stop doing those things. And when you stop doing those things, all of a sudden you realize, I don't have to push harder on the gas. I'm successful just the way I am. So take that, think differently, do something differently, have a conversation with yourself in third person, reach out and schedule a time with me if you want to have a brief conversation about how to do this differently and apply it because all of these things, they're simple, but they're not easy. The magic happens in the application. Have a great week.